Sometimes there are people in your life who you just can’t stand. For no particular reason, this person just gets under your skin. Or perhaps there is a very good reason for your distaste towards this person. Unfortunately, as this is the real world and not some cartoon where you can zap them away, we must put up with these people. So we smile, grit our teeth and get on with it. But what do you do when you feel that way about yourself?
When you can’t stand looking at yourself in a mirror because all you see are flaws. When you can’t date anyone because you are terrified that you’ll just be a disappointment. When you feel you are burden on others and your life is a mess.
Well first of all, let’s talk about why loving yourself is important.
You have a purpose in this world which is bigger than yourself. It’s more than just to exist, have a fancy job, a handsome husband and lots of cute kids. You are here to help others, to share your gifts and talents, and to make a difference in the world.
How can you make the world a better place when you are running on empty?
If I asked you what you don’t like about yourself I’m sure you would have no problem compiling a pretty sharp list.
For me, I’ve always hated that I’m so shy. I so badly want to be confident. To waltz into rooms and have all eyes on me. To freely speak my mind and be able to look people in the eye. However that’s just not me. Instead I stick to the edge of the dance floor and refrain from making eye contact like a socially-retarded sloth.
There are always going to be things you wish that you could change about yourself.
However… if you spend your whole life focusing on these things you will become exhausted, dejected and dissatisfied.
You need to show yourself some compassion.
Let’s make something clear: Loving yourself is NOT narcissistic. It’s NOT selfish and it’s doesn’t make you ego-centric.
In fact, loving yourself is an essential part of stepping into God’s purpose for your life. Ultimately, He loves you more than anything and by loathing yourself, all you are doing is demeaning his creation.
Loving yourself is not easy, but if you want to be happy and successful then it is non-negotiable.
So how do you love yourself?
- Take time to rest
Life is hectic. There is so much to do, all the time. Sometimes the weight of responsibility on your shoulders makes you feel like a bedraggled mule. One of the most important and under-rated components of your health is rest.
In a world that is so goal-orientated and focused on success, you can easily be swept up in the hustle and bustle; never taking time off to recouporate. But as any good student will tell you…our study breaks are equally as important as the pain-staking hours of learning.
You need to rest to be your best. (Would you like some wine with that cheese?)
Challenge: Spend 20 minutes doing something that relaxes you, it could be yoga, painting your nails, taking a bath or knitting.
- Reflect on your successes and failures
You gotta give yourself credit for the awesome things that you have achieved. You are a remarkable human being. You are contributing to this world. You are NOT a mistake.
Now about those failures…well, what did you learn from them? How have they helped you to make better decisions or changed your view of the world?
We make mistakes in order to learn.
Challenge: Journal 3 successes and failures you have had these past two weeks. Reflect on what you learnt from your mistakes.
- Give yourself the best
You wouldn’t give your mother the cheapest, tackiest sandals for her birthday, so why do you insist on putting yourself through that? You are worth more than that. You are precious and dearly loved. Start treating yourself accordingly.
Challenge: Buy yourself a decent pair of shoes. Ain’t nobody got time for blisters and bruises from bargain-bin footwear.
- Accentuate your strengths
What are the best things about you? Don’t be modest, I know you’ve got something in mind. Maybe it’s your warm eyes, never-ending legs or killer booty. It’s time to start celebrating those beautiful things. Stand up loud and proud as my dear Father says.
Stop focusing on the flaws you wish you didn’t have, and start showing off the things that make you special.
Challenge: Always dress to impress. Life is too short to save your prettiest dresses for special occasions. Just celebrating the fact that you are alive is as good a reason as ever.
- Nourish your body
Start showing your body some respect. It’s really not complicated. Eat what makes your body feel good. You know as well as I do that after eating a pile of chocolate, chips and cookies you’ll feel like a pile of garbage. Wholefoods play an incredible role in promoting health in our bodies.
Challenge: Start eating more fruit and vegetables. I’m not asking you to go vegan. Just add an apple, courgette or carrot here and there.
- Move your body
In a way that feels good to you. It doesn’t need to be planned or programmed for you. Just get up, get out and get going. Exercise is the single best thing you can do to take care of yourself. Not only is it extremely beneficial for your body, but it also clears your head and makes you feel like a new person.
Challenge: Take a walk around the block once a day.
Will you join me in practising self-love?
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life.”- Proverbs 4 v 23
4 thoughts on “How do you love yourself when you don’t like yourself?”
This is amazing! Thank you for spreading the message of self-love!
Thank you so much. Self love is just so important, it had to be shared.
Wow, such an uplifting post. Thank you for all these fantastic suggestions for self-love. It can definitely be a struggle for me, so these practical challenges are really helpful.
Thanks Grace I’m so glad you found it helpful.