The secret life of a disordered eater…and how to break free.

Hi friends!

The desire to fit in. We all feel it at some point. We all want to be “normal,” to be liked and accepted by others. So how do you navigate this treacherous territory when food is controlling your life? When everything around you feels like a crazy whirlwind and the only sense of calm you feel is when calculating the number of calories you had for breakfast. I want to let you in on a secret…how to be free from guilt, fear and shame…and to start really living!

It’s somebody’s birthday and everyone is laughing and chatting over ginormous slices of stale supermarket cake. You go out for dinner, you had a lovely meal, it was delicious and satisfying…and then somebody ruins it by bringing up dessert. It’s late at night and your friends are all studying together, someone announces they are feeling peckish and decide you should all pitch in and order a pizza.

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Your heart starts racing, palms start sweating, as your brain scrambles to calculate the number of calories you have already consumed and whether or not you can risk it. To a normal person, these situations pass unnoticed, you eat the cake, pizza or ice cream without a second thought and life goes on.

To a disordered eater, this a special form of torture. You want so badly to fit in, to be “normal.” You want to just eat the damn stodgy cake, but you just can’t.

Or…say that you do. You cave in to your primal desire for that sweet sugary goodness. You think, to hell with the diet, I’ll get back on track tomorrow. One piece turns to three and then someone brings out chocolate, and there’s no stopping you. Nobody sees you later, when you’re lying on your bed writhing from inner guilt and the dooming feeling of failure. You pinch at your belly and think, if only I had better self-control. Tomorrow, I’ll be perfect. No more messing up. No more failure.

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If this is you… I’ve been there. I understand first-hand the struggle you are going through.

I want to tell you, you are not alone. There is a way to be free from this constant battle against your body.

The answer you are looking for is NOT better self-control. You won’t find it by trying another diet, or running a marathon on the treadmill.

If you want to stop counting calories, justifying everything that touches your lips and feeling guilty for eating something that’s “not clean,” wanna know the secret?…

Learn to mess up your life.

What I mean is…food freedom comes with learning to let go. The reason we turn to food, is that we feel it is the one thing in our crazy lives that we can control. We feel a sense of comfort and relief when we know that at least we have control over what we are eating.


Definition of messy.

You need to start letting go of being in control and start letting your life be messy. If you’re thinking that’s all well and good Megan, but how? How do I just let go!? I’ve got a few tips to get you started:

Here are my 5 tips for messing up your life:

  1. Say yes! When someone offers you that piece of chocolate, or asks if you wanna go get ice cream. Be spontaneous. I know it’s scary, but the truth is…nothing is certain, so enjoy life while you can.


2. Face your fears. Go on and tackle that one thing that scares you the most. It may be just entering a fast-food joint. Or, perhaps it is a particular food that terrifies you. Eat the calorie-loaded, non-organic, full-fat jumbo blueberry muffin. Remember: there is nothing that you can’t eat.

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Jump right in!

3.Tell someone how you feel. I’m talking about wearing your heart on your sleeve. Share with someone your struggles, fears and dreams. Being vulnerable is a beautiful thing, it opens up doors for real relationships to form, and lightens the weight on your shoulders.

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4. Do what makes you happy. Life is too short to waste time being miserable. If you hate Brussels sprouts…don’t eat them. If running feels like an early death for you…then try something else. Find the thing that sets your soul on fire, and case after that.IMG_20150212_140637

5. Be yourself. Don’t look at what anyone else is doing. They are fluffing their way through life just like you. Nobody can beat you at being you. You are enough, just as you are. It’s time to let the world see just how awesome you are.


I’m a dork too.

There you have it. I dare you to try making your life a little messy.

I promise it won’t hurt. You are gonna feel unbelievably free!

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Please share with me how you like to ‘mess’ up your life. Is there anything that’s holding you back?

M x

6 thoughts on “The secret life of a disordered eater…and how to break free.

  1. r says:

    No one’s commented yet? Just me? Well, let’s get this thread started. I would like to mess up my life by being fully present and taking a risk in my ceramics class tomorrow. Instead of focusing on doing it right and better, I’m going to try to focus on making one thing that is really cool/fun/me.

    Thanks for this post.


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